


And I Smile, It's Been a Wonderful Life

by SloaneRisette



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Pride, Trans Female Character, cute domestic fluff, dad!fitz, it's pride month, mentions of transphobic parents, mom!simmons, motherly Simmons, trans!Jemma Simmons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 17:26:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19322770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SloaneRisette/pseuds/SloaneRisette
Summary: Jemma finally wants to come out to her daughter, knowing that telling her when she's younger will help expand her worldview and help her grow and learn (in typical Simmons' fashion, of course). That doesn't stop her from overthinking things, worrying like mad, and eventually just needing to outright take the plunge.





	And I Smile, It's Been a Wonderful Life

**Author's Note:**

> I've been headcanoning Jemma as a trans woman for a long while now, and given that its Pride month and I've had time to write so I wanted to write this little thing. I was hoping to get more Jemma coming out to important people in her life but I only have the one right now (so more may come later!). This is my first Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. fic, so I hope you all enjoy it!

If there was one thing the Fitz-Simmons family thrived on, it was routine. Despite their busy schedules, Fitz and Jemma were always there to make sure that things ran smoothly in regards to their family life and their little girl’s schedule just as much as their own careers. Routine would help teach her how to live a steady life. Not routine where it was all far too regimented, but they wanted to give their daughter all of the little comforts possible. And given her parents, it was easy to see how routine was something they relied on.

“I think tonight is the night,” she said in a low voice to her husband as she started to pour out a container of beef and broccoli into a serving dish. It wasn’t exactly a homemade meal, but considering how busy their day at S.H.I.E.L.D. had been— especially after picking up their daughter from school and working later than they had planned— it was the easiest thing to do. When Fitz heard Jemma’s words, though, he couldn’t help but sputter out some attempts at words, eyes wide with surprise.

“You’re sure?” he asked simply, leaning to look out into the little living room of their apartment to see the girl working on some homework at the coffee table, before looking to Jemma.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I think she should know. It’ll help her learn a lot about the world— and that she can be whoever she wants to be. I think it’d be a good talk for the two of us to have…”

Her words were quiet, almost unsure, and when Fitz noticed that, he put a hand on her shoulder as she was busy shoveling some fried rice into another serving dish. He could tell not just from her body language that she was nervous, but how tense her body suddenly became as soon as she brought it up.

“It’ll be ok. She loves you, you know that. She’s the sweetest child. She’s not going to be like your parents— she’s not going to hate you,” Fitz tried to assure her softly, but Jemma stayed quiet for a few moments, frown now clear on her face.

“I know, but I’m scared. For all we know she might think her mum is a freak.”

“She won’t think her mum is a freak. You are her hero,” he tried to reassure her again, knowing full well how his wife felt about herself in this type of situation. For as much as everyone seemed to love, adore, and uplift her, and even with how she was so positive on herself most of the time, it was these fears that brought her to her lowest and most scared. Before Jemma could open her mouth to speak, there was a shout from the living room.

“I finished my homework!”

The shout distracted her from what she was going to say next, feeling herself choke for a moment at the reminder of what she had planned on doing later. “Great! Dinner is ready sweetheart!” Jemma called back, voice hitching as she clenched her eyes shut for a moment. Fitz came in to give her a peck on the cheek, before taking the dishes to take to the table.

As delicious as dinner had been, there was a definite tension there. Jemma had been quiet the whole time. Fitz had tried his best to keep conversation going, asking how everyone’s days were and how everyone was enjoying the meal. Though Fitz had never been the more sociable of the two, he had really adapted to fatherhood far better than he would've thought. And even if Fitz still thought their little girl would've been better suited for a more advanced track of education like they had gone on, he was still smiling wide as she went on about learning arithmetic earlier that day. Jemma truly was grateful for his assistance on this, but all she could focus on was a worst case scenario: what if her daughter wanted nothing to do with her?

Even if hearing about her daughter's day was something that always took the edge off Jemma and left her feeling better, dinner couldn’t have been finished fast enough, and once the dishes were in the kitchen, Jemma was quick to get the bath ready. How kids could get so dirty over the course of one school day she had no idea, since she had been nothing like that when she was a kid.

“Pegs! Your bath is almost ready!” she called as the sounds of footsteps down the hall came sounding out, the young girl having a huge smile on her face.

“Can I pick out the bubble bath I want?”

“Of course you can. You get the bubbles ready and I’ll get the towels for you. Dad helped you check your homework?” she asked as she stood up, little Peggy already searching through a small cabinet in order to find her favorite “pink-scented” bubble bath.

“Yup! We got it all done! I only got two wrong!” she said, looking out to her mom and flashing a triumphant grin.

“That’s my girl,” she said, unable to stop herself from grinning too, patting Peggy on the shoulder, “I’ll be right back.”

Just a few moments later, Jemma came back with the towels to see Peggy already splashing and giggling in the bath, and Jemma let out a soft, content sigh. Sure, water was already splashed out of the tub, just seeing her so happy left Jemma feeling better, herself.

“Let’s get you all cleaned up, shall we?”

After a bath time filled with Jemma— as was the theme that night— being quieter than usual, Peggy was in her pajamas, sitting on her bed. She was holding onto a stuffed monkey Fitz had gotten her last week (one of many he had gotten her since they adopted her) while Jemma sat behind her and began to brush out her hair.

“How’s Mr. Bananas?” she asked with another motion of the brush through her daughter’s hair, “Does he need his hair brushed, too?”

All throughout her room there were plenty of stuffed monkeys, big and small, that Fitz had always gotten her whenever they were out and saw one. It was just a little way for him to share his love of the animal with their daughter, and he always said he wanted the best for her, hence his insistence. She had named each and every one and most weekends the two had played monkeys together, which had always been the sweetest sight to witness. Not only was Jemma near always overwhelmed at the fact that she had been able to be a mother, but thinking about how wonderful her daughter was left her even more in awe of what her life was able to have become.

“No, mommy! I did it earlier!” she giggled, at which Jemma chuckled softly, nodding to herself.

“You did a wonderful job. He looks dapper as can be.”

“That’s what daddy said! You two are silly!”

“Your dad is the silly one, just remember that,” Jemma teased with one last brush, “There we go, all dry.”

“Thanks mommy!”

This was it, this was really the moment, and for the first time since she had first come home with them, Jemma felt nervous around her daughter. This could’ve changed their entire relationship forever with just a few words. Her mother and father had near immediately disowned her once she came out, and she wasn’t sure she could go on for over a decade in silence until Peggy presumably moved out.

“Sweetheart, can mummy talk to you for a few minutes?” she asked, her voice shaking as Peggy turned around on the bed, holding tight onto her monkey.

“Is something wrong mommy?” she asked, frowning too now as she looked up at Jemma.

“Mummy just… there’s something she’s wanted to talk to you about for a while. Something very important.”

“Ok…”

The little girl was confused, nervous, and Jemma took in a breath, swallowing hard. She knew she just needed to say it, but how did she do that? Of course she knew how to do that, but-- but now she was overthinking and letting her mind race far more than it needed to.

“Mummy hasn’t… always been a mummy.”

In that moment, Peggy’s expression lightened, a smile on her face. “I know!”

“What?” Jemma’s breath had been taken away— did she really know? Had she mentioned it to Fitz at some point and Peggy had overheard?

“Yeah! Because before you and daddy didn’t have me and then you got me and now you’re a mommy!” she squeaked out happily, pulling Jemma into a hug. Jemma was caught off-guard, but then she hugged Peggy back, giving her a squeeze before Peggy sat back down.

“…Yes, that’s right. But I didn’t mean it quite like that. What I meant was… mummy hasn’t always been like you. When she was your age… she was more like a little boy…” she started, carefully watching for any type of reaction, though all she got was one that was very confused.

“What do you mean?”

Jemma frowned again. She stayed quiet, biting down on her lip. Maybe she just had to be… completely honest. Peggy was a brilliant young girl, she would understand what she would talk about. Jemma just wasn’t able to help the situation by dancing around vague metaphors and ideas.

“Mummy wasn’t always a girl.”

There it was. She had said it. She had just taken the first step to coming out to her daughter. And already she could feel the weight lifting off her shoulders just a bit.

“You see, mummy was born a boy. Like how daddy was. When I was a little older than you, I thought about how I wanted to be a little girl, like how you are.” The words were tumbling out a bit nervously, and though she was afraid to look at her daughter, the young girl seemed to be receptive to what she was being told, looking up at her, maybe a little curious, but nodding along with each word spoken to her.

“When I was a teenager and I moved to the United States, I started what’s called hormone replacement therapy, and it helped me become a girl, like you and Auntie Daisy.”

The rest of the weight that had been there was now gone. It was all just a matter of what Peggy would think now.

Slowly, her daughter nodded, taking in all of the information that was just fed to her by her mother.

“If you have anything you want to ask or say, feel free. I understand this may be a lot, but just know anything you have to say or want to say you can,” she assured her, offering a smile.

“Um… that’s what the T in LGBT stands for, right?” she asked, at which point Jemma smiled, then Peggy continued, “T-t— tr-tra— tra… how do you say it, mommy?”

“Transgender.”

“Transgender, yeah!” There was a warm smile on Jemma’s face as her daughter seemed to not only know this, but also seem so enthusiastic.

“Mummy is a trans woman, yes.”

“Are you happy being a girl?”

“I’m very happy, yes. I get to be who I want to be and I have your daddy and you both in my life,” she said, preemptively wiping at her eyes as she felt them starting to get misty.

“I love you, mommy!” Peggy said, setting down Mr. Bananas and then moving across the bed, crawling into her mom’s lap and giving her a big hug, nearly knocking her back onto the bed. Jemma choked, swallowing hard as she felt herself start to tear up now, instantly clutching onto her little girl in a tight hug. Everything had turned out fine-- of course Fitz was right about that. All of these little things from when they brought Peggy home on he had been right about. Her fears were almost always unfounded, and when they weren't, she had a loving husband and daughter to help assuage those fears.

“Mummy loves you, too. And she’s so happy you love her.” She hadn’t meant to say that— to imply that, for whatever reason, Peggy might have been mean about what she was just told— but the words tumbled out. She clenched her eyes shut, praying that for one reason or another Peggy wouldn’t have listened to it, but the young girl tilted her head to the side, looking up at her.

“Of course I love you! You’re the best mommy ever!” she said, Jemma hearing the voice and instantly feeling herself relax, just a bit, giving her a kiss on the top of the head, before going to wipe her eyes.

“And you are the best daughter ever. Your daddy and I are so lucky to have such a wonderful daughter. Mummy’s own parents… weren’t as nice about who mummy is like you are,” she said sadly, now opening her eyes, wiping the tears away and looking down at her child, who had once again picked up her stuffed monkey to hold onto. Now she was thinking about that winter holiday again. When she came back home to England after she had been transitioning for nearly a year by that point and had no choice but to present as a girl when she went home. Even if she didn't need to, she had wanted to, as presenting any other way, even then, felt wrong. Still she remembered the looks on their faces and all of the cruel words said, both veiled and not.

“Why weren’t they nice?” she asked simply, not understanding why anyone wouldn’t be nice to her mother. It was just like she had said— she was the best mother ever. That was something Jemma wasn't entirely sure she was ready to answer. Her daughter had handled everything she was just told with a maturity and grace that Jemma couldn't have imagined possessing at her age, but to go into the specifics of her parents' bigotry and transphobia and all of the details behind that. She would tell Peggy about that one day, but things had gone well, and she didn't want to put the girl under any unnecessary stress or sadness.

“...I guess they just weren’t good people. You know how we’ve talked about how your father’s father isn’t good? My parents aren’t either. But I promise you will never have to meet them.” And no matter what, Jemma would ensure that. No Alistair Fitz and certainly not her own parents. They didn’t deserve to meet such a wonderful girl, either. Peggy was sweet, sunny, loving, with a bright smile and an endless inquisitiveness that was so reminiscent of the couple who adopted her. Alistair Fitz was a monster who favored cruelty over kindness, and her own parents showed their true colors nearly 15 years ago.

“I’m sorry mommy…” she whispered, letting her head rest against her mother, though the frown that was on Jemma’s face softened as she let her hand rest on Peggy’s cheek.

“No, no, it’s alright, Peggy,” she said, shaking her head softly, offering a smile, “The three of us, your gran, we don’t need any of those other people. Our family is perfect without any of them.” She was, at the least, confident in saying that.

“It is! I have the best mommy and the best daddy and the best grandma!” Peggy chirped, happy as could be, and with each of her words that followed ever since she had come out to her daughter, Jemma felt good. She wasn’t scared anymore. The idea of being scared around her daughter— of being scared of what she might say was all ridiculous, but it had been a real fear. A real fear that had now been shown to have been completely unfounded. This was the most loving, the sweetest little girl imaginable. There was no way she wouldn't have understood and accepted her, and she was feeling silly as she realized that now. But even more, she knew how lucky she was to have this girl in her life.

“And we have the best daughter. And I want you to know, no matter who you want to be, your daddy and I will support you and love you always,” she assured her softly, Peggy nodding quickly.

“I wanna be just like you, mommy! I wanna be pretty and smart!”

Those words left Jemma bright red, unable to stop herself from chuckling, while Peggy was giggling like mad now, more than a little excited— and probably a little harder to get down for bed that night.

“You’re very pretty and you’re incredibly brilliant. In a few years you’ll be even smarter than me,” she said, still all smiles, as after a moment, Peggy started to nod quickly.

“I know,” she said, looking up at her mom with a big, toothy grin.

“Oh you do, young lady? Maybe I’ll take you to work with me soon so you can help me with my new projects!” she said, as if she were insulted, hands now on her hips as the two exploded into another fit of giggles.

“Mommy?” Peggy asked a few moments later after she had quieted, yawning after.

“Yes, Pegs?”

“I love you lots and I always will,” she said as she yawned again, those words warming Jemma up more than anything else possibly could.

“I love you lots too, and I always will. Are you ready for bed?”

“Do I have to?” she asked with another big yawn, holding Mr. Bananas close to her chest with both arms, at which Jemma nodded.

“It is definitely your bedtime, sweetheart. Get into bed and I’ll get you your glass of water and your daddy and I will be right back for the good night festivities,” she said, at which Peggy nodded, quickly crawling over to the pillow and resting her head against it. Jemma got up she could already see how tuckered out she was, just about falling asleep already once her head hit the pillow.

It wasn’t long for Fitz and Simmons to bring back the water and turn off the lights in Peggy’s room, beginning their nightly rituals of another chapter of a Harry Potter book— narrated by the both of them, complete with voices— a soft lullaby from Simmons, and then plenty of kisses, leaving the water on her nightstand and then leaving the room, smiling to themselves.

It was about a half hour later, the two sitting on the couch with the TV on, though neither paid attention to it. Instead they sat there silently with their own books they were reading. After a few more minutes, Jemma gently placed a bookmark in hers, setting it on the side table. She folded her hands in her lap, crossing her legs at the ankles before she lay her head on her husband’s shoulder, smiling to herself.

Fitz looked up from his own book, placing his thumb on the page so he wouldn’t lose his spot, smiling to himself, “It all went well? I told you it would.”

“I know you told me it would, but there was still those… nerves, you know? I was nervous when I told my parents, especially nervous when I told you, nervous when I told Daisy… I was just afraid Peggy might not like it,” she mused with a soft shrug of her shoulder that wasn’t scrunched up next to Fitz’s.

“She’s a smart kid, Jemma. We both know where she gets it from,” he said, pausing for a beat, “Me.” That word was followed up with a sly smile as Simmons simply laughed, nodding.

“You’re definitely not wrong. And out of all the kids we could’ve adopted, we are so lucky.”

“You’re not wrong about that. And I’m glad you’re ok, love,” he said, turning his head to give her a kiss on the cheek, though Jemma lifted hers and turned at the same time, meeting him for a quick kiss on the lips. After, she once again lay her head against his shoulder, smiling softly, content and happy. Just a few hours ago she had felt utterly nauseous, but now she felt light as could be.

“Fitz? We have a good daughter. No— no, we have a great daughter. The best one.”


End file.
